It's been hard. Real hard. Putting the dog down was and is mentally draining. I can't even think about it without crying. Mom going into a nursing home for rehab. You would think that it would be less stress and it is but she is calling more and putting different demands on my family. And then there is Doc. We have cooled it down considerably but we still have the feelings between us. Probably me more than him. He hasn't been able to get it up for the new GF and although he doesn't come out and blame me, he tells me that he can't "do me" and then do her. I reminded him that he has absolutely no problem in that area with me. He admits that the sex between us has always been the best and that he doesn't have problems with me. Is he that thick headed to not realize that there is something else going on in that department with HER - she isn't doing it for him - he isn't turned on by her - she doesn't have what it takes. WAKE UP!!!

I go to his house to see him - when I am invited which is considerably less than before. He now tells me that I am too much of a temptation for him. Being near me is a temptation, hugging me to say goodbye is a temptation. Oh please! Well, okay maybe he feels that way seeing that every time I have gone there, we ended up in bed.

This is getting old. He is 57 years old, what does he have to prove? He is so unhappy and I keep thinking it's my fault but these were his decisions. How much time do I give him to see if he ever finds out what will make him happy?

I worry too much!