I can't believe that it's the end of September. Heck I can't believe I'm turning another year older - yikes. My birthday always makes me reflect back on my life, where I am, where I've been and where I'm going. Sometimes thinking that much just makes my thoughts go faster in my head and then I have trouble concentrating on just one and thinking it through. I hate that and I'm not sure if that is just part of ADD or just too much going on in my life or even both.

The family is doing fine. I'm so proud of my girls. I burst with pride every time I talk about them or even think about them. The oldest starts her new job with the state govt in one week. She just bought her very first car - 2007 Hyundai Elantra - sweet ride. Youngest daughter is struggling in college with organic chemistry and Calculus. It will be her third calculus class and second organic chemistry. She is contemplating switching majors. I support her, offered to get her a tutor. I don't believe she will quit college but she may change majors. She isn't sure what she would switch to though. I completely relate to her struggle as I had the same struggle in my second year of college. Hubby is doing well too. We have been doing home improvements - 15 new windows and very soon they will be installing our new roof. We are getting this lifetime roof - steel roof that is made to look like our slate shingles. Hubby has been working on replacing some of the wood lattice work that was under the porch that goes around the house with plastic lattice - it looks great. I promise to post pictures of before and after.

I interviewed Friday for the position that I mentioned in an earlier blog - quality specialist. The old manager is out but coming back as a record analyst. Our new manager is the lady who has been doing it while they decided what to do with the old manager. She has a lot of great ideas but I have a feeling that she will expect others to put it all together and implement it while she doesn't have a part in it. Not my style of management and we'll see how long that lasts. I have enough experience to be able to do that but I'm not sure I will be paid enough to be that much of a part of management without the title or authority. She wasn't able to tell me how much I would be making. I'm ready for the change. Typing is becoming very old. I'm finding my mind wandering. I believe I need more of a challenge with a tad less time restriction-induced stress. I'll know by next Wednesday, Friday the latest, whether I offered the job or not and then decide if I really want it. Being that I'm good buds with one of the other quality specialist, she tells me that the manager talks as if I already have the job. Well, lets see what they put on the table as far as money.

Doc and I have been good, very good. As I was putting my life in perspective, I was thinking that we aren't as intimate as we used to be. Sometimes it bothers me cause I certainly want it more, but he has been more tentative to other things in our relationship that weren't there before. And that feels wonderful. I have also noticed that my hubby and I are becoming more intimate but not really in a loving way - just in a sexual way - meeting his needs. I say meeting his needs because mine are certainly not met. I feel like I am fulfilling a wifely duty and if it makes him happy and content - well so be it then I was successful and I have been successful so far. Funny thing - while cleaning the attic I found a box with letters from him when I was away at college and a box of letters from me from the same time. I read a card that was in my box to my youngest who was helping to clean - it was mushy but it so expressed how he felt about me back then. We were so innocent and young - so in love with each other. Some day I will bring those boxes down and read through them. I'm sure it will stir something up inside me - some of the old feelings. I do love him, he has been very good to me but I don't feel that happy feeling like I used to. That always makes me sad when I think of that. What happened to it? Will I ever feel it again?

I'm gonna try to visit more often and blog more, maybe it will help me with that fleeting thought process. One never knows!